Midichlorian Rhapsody

from by Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff

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©2004 Jeff Bohnhoff

I’ve got no real life-
I live on Tatooine-
Working for Watto
He flaps like a buzzing bee.
Open my eyes
Two suns in the sky I see-
I’m just a slave boy, I got no place to be.
I build a pod, build a droid
Obi-Wan gets annoyed.
Where did Qui-Gon Jin go, does the Light side matter to me?
To me.

Mama, just met a man.
Put a needle in my arm
Got a look of deep alarm.
Mama, he says that I’m the One
And now he says that I must go away.
Mama, oooh.
Didn’t mean to make you cry,
If I don’t win the speed pod race tomorrow Carry on, carry on - as if I were not splattered.

Too late – I saw her face.
And though I’m just a boy
I’ll gladly be her toy.
Goodbye Amidala, I’ve got to go –
Gotta go and fix the Force with Qui-Gon Jin.
Jar-Jar, oooh (worse than C3PO).
You’re surely Naboo’s pride
Though I sometimes wish you’d never been born at all.

I see a little tin tea kettle of a droid.
Boba Fett, Boba Fett was your father named Jango?
Clones and Dooku’s lightning - very very frightening me.

Master Yoda, Master Yoda,
Master Yoda, Master Yoda.
Master Yoda make him go.
Send in the clones.

I pout like a small boy, why does she love me?
He pouts like a small boy, in him what does she see?
This sad romance just a monstrosity.

Laser gun, 3PO – Kenobi let me grow.
Mace Windu! No! We will not let you grow! (Let him grow!)
Mace Windu! We will not let you grow! (let him grow!)
Mace Windu! We will not let you grow! (let me grow!)
Will not let you grow! (Let me grow!).
Will not let you grow!
No, no, no, no, no, no, no-
Mama Schmi-o, Mama Schmi-o,
Tusken Raiders let her go!
Lord Palpatine has a dark suit put aside for me, for me, for me.

So you think you can train me - just one more Jedi?
So you think you can burn me and leave me to die?
Kenobi, can’t do this to me Obi.
Just gotta go Dark, just gotta go Dark side it’s clear.

The Light side doesn’t matter,
Anyone can see.
The Light side doesn’t matter.
The Light side doesn’t matter to me.
Where did Qui-Gon Jin go...


from Grated Hits, released March 12, 2010
Maya Bohnhoff - Lead Vocal
Jeff Bohnhoff - Guitars, Bass, Drum Programming
Mary Crowell - Piano
Michelle (vixy) Dockrey, Seanan McGuire, Chris Dickenson, Margaret Davis, Kris Bohnhoff, Maya Bohnhoff, Tony Fabris, Paul Kwinn, Kristoph Klover, Alex Bohnhoff - Choral Vocals

Lyric - Jeff Bohnhoff



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Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff San Jose, California

Jeff and Maya have an identity crisis. Their music is sometimes uproariously funny parody (like their spot-on "Bohemian Rhapsody" parody "Midichlorian Rhapsody", or hauntingly beautiful, like "Road to Jerusalem" or "Manhattan Sleeps". One way or another, their music will create strong emotions. Jeff and Maya have been creating music together since 1979, and plan to continue for some time to come. ... more

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