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Hotel Dealer Floor

from Retro Rocket Science by Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff

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lyrics

©1997 Jeff Bohnhoff

Down a dark hotel hallway
Cooled breeze in my hair
Warm smell of espresso
Rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance
I saw a shimmering light
My purse grew heavy and my will grew dim
I had to shop there tonight

There she stood at the table
I heard a cloister bell
And I was thinking to myself
Could be Blake 7 or space opera hell
Then she held up a Bat’leth
From a Star Trek display
There were voices from the booth next door
I thought I heard them say

“Welcome to the hotel dealer floor”
“Such a lovely place, buy a warrior’s mace”
“There’s plenty of stuff on the hotel dealer floor”
“Any fannish gear, you can buy it here....”

Her mind is Bradbury twisted
She’s one of Mercedes’ friends
She’s got a lot of pretty pretty goths
She calls fen
How they filk in the ballroom
All night bardic sets
Some lines they remember
Some lines they forget

I saw a gold shirted captain
At the end of the line
He said “We haven’t had that Star Trek here since 1969”
And still those Cds are playing from far away
Stop you dead in the middle of the aisle
Just to hear them say

“Welcome to the hotel dealer floor”
“Such a lovely place to buy a latex face”
They’re givin’ it up on the hotel dealer floor”
I let down my guard, brought my credit card.

Magic cards on the table
Laid out to entice
She said “Old tapes of the Prisoner here, can be had for a price”.
And in the con ops chamber they gather for their feast
Cold nachos and a keg of beer
Old Dr Who repeats
Last thing I remember, I was running for the door
Had to get my credit balance back
To the place it was before
“Relax” said the gopher
But I was not deceived
Bring your checkbook to the dealer floor
And it can never leave....

credits

from Retro Rocket Science, released March 5, 2000
Maya Bohnhoff - Vocals , 12 string Guitar
Jeff Bohnhoff - Guitars, Bass, Drum Programming, Keyboards

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Jeff and Maya Bohnhoff San Jose, California

Jeff and Maya have an identity crisis. Their music is sometimes uproariously funny parody (like their spot-on "Bohemian Rhapsody" parody "Midichlorian Rhapsody", or hauntingly beautiful, like "Road to Jerusalem" or "Manhattan Sleeps". One way or another, their music will create strong emotions. Jeff and Maya have been creating music together since 1979, and plan to continue for some time to come. ... more

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